You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be
“Don’t “should” all over yourself!” She said that as if she knew what I was thinking since I arrived at this strange place.
I am stressed and tired, I should feel better at the end of this weekend.
This place looks like a children’s camp and there are two bunk beds in a room, should I run off while I still can? No, I should stay. I paid for the experience, I knew it was out of my comfort zone, I should be open-minded.
It will be ok. I should do all the activities. I should do all the moves at the advanced level. I should push myself. I should climb the high rope course, I should do it twice! I should, I should, I should… OMG, I just “should” all over myself and I have been for the last three months, three years, three decades??? Eh….? Ommm! I should stop thinking about it right now! Shoot, I just did again!!! Ommm!
And then she said, “You are exactly where you need to be!” … (gulp!) …. (sigh!) …(sob!) Wait, what? OMG, I am crying. Right in the middle of the room, in the middle of the session. I am crying as I am laying on the floor bent like a pretzel with the tears pulling at the base of my nose. I am exactly where I need to be!!! I feel as if she set me free from the internal battle happening inside my head. In an instant, it all stopped. Silence. Where did it all go? I breath in and out as another tear runs down my cheek. Ommm…
I am here, now in this moment. This is me feeling free to express my emotions, liberated to do what feels good right now – silent tears running down my face! I am so tired from this summer. I gave my all and then some, and I am so done! Done thinking about others, done planning, done taking care of everyone. This is my weekend, this is my time to be me and to take care of me! I have two full days to enjoy this time!
We meditate and reflect on our lives. This part comes easy to me. I am in the moment, present and at peace. My mind is clear, my heart is full, every cell of my body is relaxed and vibrating at a higher frequency.
I hear her voice again. “What is it that you always wanted to do, to be?” she says. My heart skips a beat… I exhale and smile. Ah, so that is why I am here! I don’t hesitate for a second to think. I know the answer, I always knew it and now is the time to make my intention known to the Universe.
I want to …
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THANK YOU to author and omie Lola Fransway. Your vulnerability, perspective, and writing is a gift!
