Thoughts on pregnancy (Amanda)
I know, I know. It’s all been said before! Still, this is one of the coolest things I’ll ever experience and so I thought I’d share some thoughts on pregnancy. I have had a very healthy pregnancy and I am so grateful!!
I have Gestational Diabetes (and It’s been a blessing in disguise)
The first phone call I made was to Bryana. I was crying and told her my news. Luckily, she was the perfect person to talk me through it. She encouraged me to think of all the positives:
now I will be eating more nourishing and wholesome foods for baby
this may help me feel more energetic and positive through the third trimester
After the phone call with Bryana, I felt way better. Of course, she was right! I’ve been on this diet now for 12+ weeks and every day I think about how privileged I am to be eating in such a nourishing way.
I think this is a testament to a consistent yoga practice. Instead of thinking about how restricted or limiting my diet is, I have focused on all the foods I CAN eat and how good they make me feel! When I wash my vegetables, I think about where the vegetables came from just to nourish me. When the purple juice is dripping from beets or I fill a baking sheet with colorful vegetables I think about how privileged I am to eat this way, and how I am learning new recipes that I will be able to continue making for the rest of my life.
I think this diagnosis has actually been a blessing in disguise. I feel way better on this diet with less swelling and aches and pains. I did bring “healthy” 3-ingredient brownies to a Super Bowl Party and the three-year old tasted one and shouted “ICK!” haha.
Banana Nice Cream has been a real life saver, and it’s so good I encourage everyone to try it.
Lastly, there is a negative stigma associated with Gestational Diabetes. If you or a friend are diagnosed, try to focus on the positives mentioned here!
25 weeks, photo by Comfort and Cashmere Images
25 weeks, photo by Comfort and Cashmere Images
Why does food taste SO good when pregnant?
I have a running list in my journal of things I will (and won’t) miss about pregnancy. Guess which list is longer? Ha! One thing I will definitely miss is the way food tastes SO GOOD. Every bite of cottage cheese or fresh raspberry tastes satisfying and delicious. I wish food tasted this wonderful to me all the time!
I started showing early
I started showing very early and was embarrassed and self-conscious about it. I didn’t want my picture taken and I hated telling anyone my due date because I dreaded their response.
Just throwing this out there as a reminder that all women show differently. Some show early, some show late. Some gain a lot of weight, others don’t. The less said about it, the better. The best thing to say to a pregnant woman is, “Wow, you look great!” There’s no need to say anything if you think she looks bigger or smaller than your idea of what a pregnancy should look like.
26 weeks, photo by Loon Lake Portraits
17 weeks at my friend Barb’s wedding
I tooted for the first time ever while teaching yoga. (Ha!)
It had to happen at some point. I made it nearly seven years before the dreaded happened. But when you’re 34 weeks pregnant and teaching… gotta be able to laugh at yourself! At least it was quiet… haha.
Honoring the journey
I feel so grateful for this opportunity. I am trying to enjoy every kick and feel gratitude despite the more difficult moments (like swelling and having no shoes that fit!)
Things I relate to at 39+ weeks
Big JABBA THE HUT energy
walking like Frankenstein’s monster
Sasquatch feet
Getting up from our squishy/comfy couch is very challenging!
Wake myself up snoring (!!!)
Love to feel baby move around- full heels/feet/knees kicking around in there
Feeling very nervous/scared/anxious/excited all at once
I have googled “signs of going into labor” at least 200 times
Malasana, Goddess Pose, and Half-Squat (aka Ninja Pose) are life
I opted not to be told my weight at appointments
Like so many women, I had an unhealthy relationship with weight in my early 20s. I worked through it, but as a result I almost never weigh myself. I try to eat and move in ways that are nourishing and judge my health based on how I feel, how my clothes fit, my resting heart rate, and my ability to do things like long hikes/runs, etc. Weighing myself hasn’t been a super healthy habit for me in the past, so I thought it seemed like a strange time to start being concerned about a number on a scale when I’m guaranteed to be putting on pounds. Everyone at St. Luke’s has been respectful of this decision. I simply said, “if there’s a problem, let me know.” Now that I’m almost through, I am a bit curious about how much weight I gained in each trimester, but I think it’ll be easier to review being on the other side. Again, just throwing this out there!
26 weeks, Loon Lake Portraits
I thought I’d want to quit teaching yoga at 28 weeks…
To my surprise, I’ve found teaching yoga, yoga+HIIT, and yoga sculpt classes has been incredible for my mental health on this journey. It is so rewarding to go to the studio, see familiar faces, dance to the music a bit, move my body, and feel like a human! So much of this experience is awkward and alien, it has been a comfort to have a yoga mat and a yoga studio as a home base. I taught my last class yesterday (39 weeks) and it was a blast. I played songs like “Push-It” by Salt-N-Peppa and “Baby Got Back” by Sir Mixalot. We laughed. I made jokes about my water breaking during cardio/squats. It was great.
32 weeks at Movo Studio (my home studio)
The way women support other women is pretty incredible
I’ve been blown away by the generosity of other mothers. They are willing to share or gift items they are no longer using, they’ve shown up at showers with gifts, they check-in to see how I’m doing, they are attentive listeners full of empathy and concern… more than any other time in my life I feel supported by a community of women. It’s a powerful and beautiful thing.
It’s also reminded me the power of friendship. Friendship can be confusing at times, especially as an adult. “Does he or she still like me? Why wasn’t I invited?” etc, etc.. but friendship has shown up in so many fun and delightful ways recently. A friend I rarely see dropped off a giant tote of children’s books, a dear friend from college called to share his wife’s recent birth experience with me as a way to offer support and encouragement, my Dad’s cousin mailed me a homemade blanket, an omie sent me a box of used children’s items, the list is endless! Friendship looks like so many different things, especially as we age. I am delighted by each gesture, both large and small!
Waiting
In these final two weeks I feel suspended in time- waiting. I didn't expect this waiting period to feel so long or so intense. I don't feel like myself and am full of fear, uncertainty, and anticipation for what will come next. A friend gave me an incredible Ayurvedic cookbook for new mothers, (I highly recommend!) I was struck by the passage below and felt that it perfectly captures this specific moment in time. I am waiting-acknowledging who I have been, mourning what is ending, and knowing that some pieces of me will always exist. Here is the lovely passage:
“Certain spiritual traditions believe that a woman will go through three stages in her lifetime: maiden, mother, and crone (a term that may have a negative connotation in modern society, but actually represents a powerful woman emanating the radiance of a lifetime of accumulated wisdom). Each stage is marked by a rite of passage: menstruating for the first time, giving birth to your first child, and, finally, menopause.
The maiden is thought to be a young girl driven by curiosity and playfulness. As she grows into her womanhood she will enter the next stage, mother, where she will experience the full experience of her capacity to nurture and be compassionate. Finally, she will transition into the crone stage, a period of life marked by wisdom and giving back to society.
When a maiden becomes a mother she is required to re-prioritize her universe, placing another being at the forefront of her attention-before her own feelings and desires. This shifting of her focus propels her into the next chapter of her life, where old systems are promptly dismantled and new methods must be created. Things don’t look like they used to.
As you step fully into your role as mother, it’s also important to acknowledge who you were before you gave birth as well as who you will be at the end of your childbearing years. All three of these pieces are in you, always. You can celebrate the new, mourn what has just ended, while also reveling in the traces that still exist.”
