Wisdom from the Yamas & Niyamas Heading into the Holidays
The most wonderful time of year?!
Sometimes the stress, busy-ness, expectations, and chaos of the holidays can make for an unpleasant time during what is supposed to be “the most wonderful time of the year.” It’s not hard to search our personal memory bank and find unpleasant memories of last-minute gift wrapping or shopping getting in the way of presence with family, or instances where someone didn’t have the reaction to a gift you were hoping for.
Also cue our annual New Year’s Yoga, Journaling, and Intention Setting virtual workshop tradition. This helps us reset, zero back in on our values, and focus on what is truly important.
When the going gets tough, I turn to themes from the yamas and niyamas. These jewels of wisdom provide me comfort as I try to find peace and contentment amidst stress, sadness, hurt, overwhelm, etc.
I thought I’d share with you some of the reminders the yamas and niyamas have brought to me over the past month. I believe these principles help us shed the materialism and chaos of the holidays and return to what is truly important- presence and time with loved ones.
Reminder/Overview: What are the yamas and niyamas?
As many of you know, the first two limbs of Patanjali’s eight-fold path are the yamas (restraints) and niyamas (observances). The eight-fold path comes from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The remaining six limbs include asana (physical postures), pranayama (breath control), pratyahara (withdrawal of the senses), dharana (focused concentration), dhyana (meditation), and samadhi (contemplation, bliss).
In America, we are familiar with asana, the physical postures of yoga. You’ll notice that the yamas and niyamas are actually the first two limbs on the eight-fold path, falling before the physical postures of asana. Whether you’ve been to one yoga class or ten-thousand, the yamas and niyamas are gifts of wisdom to provide guidance on the path to a contented and peaceful life.
YAMAS (EXTERNAL ETHICS)
Ahimsa (non-violence)
Satya (truthfulness)
Asteya (non-stealing)
Brahmacharya (non-excess)
Aparigraha (non-possessiveness)
NIYAMAS (INTERNAL ETHICS)
Saucha (purity)
Santosha (contentment)
Tapas (self-discipline)
Svadhyaya (self-study)
Isvara Pranidhana (surrender)
Let’s dig in.
Below I offer questions for reflection and consideration, perhaps through journaling, before you head into the holiday chaos!
**Before you begin, it may be helpful to select a mantra for grounding for the coming week or two. For me, that mantra is “I am peace.” Other good options include: I am present, and, I am content.
Ahimsa (non-violence)
This holiday season, how can you approach conversations and interactions as an instrument of peace?
Are there situations, people, or events that are part of your holiday gatherings that may be harmful to your well-being? If yes, how can you set boundaries to protect yourself?
Are there traditions that need rethinking? Even if it’s too late to make changes this year, it may be a good time to start thinking ahead for changes you’d like to make next year.
Remember your mantra.
Satya (truthfulness)
How can you clearly dictate boundaries for holiday gatherings in a compassionate way?
Are you struggling financially and unable to participate in a gift exchange? If yes, say so! You will be met with compassion.
Are you being honest with yourself about your budget for the holidays? If no, it’s not too late to return some items!
If someone says something that makes you uncomfortable (think politics) can you address it in a non-harmful way? How? Having a strategy in place may help you when the moment arises. Sometimes walking away or very obviously switching the topic of conversation to something benign may be the best strategy.
Are you being honest with loved ones about your expectations for the holidays? If there is something you really look forward to (like game night or sledding) and you are worried it may not make the cut, can you clearly communicate your desires?
Remember your mantra.
Asteya (non-stealing)
How can you avoid stealing from your own experience? For example, can you make a conscious effort to limit cell phone use to avoid stealing from the time with loved ones?
How can you avoid stealing from the experiences of others. When we bring drama, gossip, cruelty, or hate into a group, we are spoiling the experience of others. The saying is true- one bad apple spoils the bunch. Keep the conversations positive. You could even strategize conversation topics to Similarly, if we bring excessive stress and anxiety, our stress is contagious. Control your chaos.
Remember your mantra.
Brahmacharya (non-excess) & Santosha (contentment)
The holidays are a time of excess. Excess food, excess wine, excess wrapping paper, excess materialism. This year I feel convinced that my Dad NEEDS bucket buddy (despite the fact that he has successfully managed a farm for 40 years without a bucket buddy). I am trying to remind myself that I don’t have to buy things to show my family I love them, I can show them in other ways.
How can you focus on the abundance you already have? Bramacharya is the practice of tasting and savoring every bite. Taking a stroll on a crisp winter morning and drinking in all the beauty that surrounds. Practicing active listening with family members. Enjoying the company of family by playing games together or taking a hike together outside. Practicing gratitude for the many gifts we have been given reminds us to pause and relish in all that we already have.
If/when the holidays leave you feeling frazzled, disappointed, drained, sad, or lonely- turn to the practice of santosha (contentment). How can you find gratitude for what is?
Remember your mantra.
*Musical Inspiration: Everything I Need by Trevor Hall
Aparigraha (non-possessiveness)
Aparaigraha reminds us to let go of our attachments. Holidays come with many, many attachments. Attachments to traditions, attachments to the way things have always been, attachments to our ideas of a “perfect” Christmas, attachments to our expectations of others, attachments to how we expect gift recipients to respond to our thoughtful gifts. How can you bring awareness to your attachments this holiday season?
Seeing your attachments more clearly may help you breathe, pause, and let go. Remember, life is not perfect. Breathe it in, breathe it out, let it go.
Importantly- sometimes we have to let go of traditions or family members that bring us too much harm. It’s okay to peacefully redefine who/what/how/where you want to spend your time.
Remember your mantra.
*Musical Inspiration: Breathe it In by Beautiful Chorus
Saucha (purity) & Tapas (self-discipline)
Remember to drink plenty of water, take a stroll outside, set aside time for meditation, and/or work in an at-home yoga practice in the coming weeks. It is likely you are eating outside of your norm, and have less time for your personal physical/mental wellness. How can you practice wellness for yourself in the coming weeks?
Remember your mantra.
Svadhyaya (self-study)
Congrats, you are doing this just by contemplating these questions! Be mindful and self-aware of your own actions, words, inactions, and choices.
Remember your mantra.
Isvara Pranidhana (surrender)
Lastly, take a down dog, surrender, and remember that the only thing in your control is you. Let it go.
Remember your mantra.
