The Sneaky Side Effects of Uprooting Your Life, by Sonja Martin

Greetings to all the Yogis who are connected with the Boreal Bliss ladies community. I am writing to you all from the Great State of Texas!

I recently reached out to Amanda about future collaboration and she sent an invitation to write a blog post about my current travels and whereabouts. I love when I reach out to the Boreal Bliss ladies, they continually include me and inspire me to share my stories.  I have had so many wonderful times attending and working at retreats and I am grateful to continue to share with y’all. (I’ve been living in Texas now for 3 months and am very liberal with my ‘y’alls.’)

My husband Lee and I had been scheming for a few years about how we could spend more time in Texas. We had been visiting since 2013 and truly fell in love with the area and more importantly with the people and the music scene. It took a few years of turning the wheels and grinding the gears for it all to make sense and come clear. Once the pandemic became a reality all over the world, we sat tight and I’m glad that we did for so many reasons. But I took the time at home to start the process for myself of going through my things and downsizing, in preparation to move to Texas. It took me about two years to fully go through my possessions, prep my house in order to rent it out for a year and plan and save. And then everything kind of fell apart. 

I will be honest when I say that 2020 was nothing in comparison to 2021. I was lucky enough to stay home for a couple of months and receive pay from my employer. I was able to provide for myself and my husband and my dog and we loved staying home together for those first couple months. 2020 wasn’t ideal, but I did not suffer and I reveled in the slow down and in the great interruption.

Then in the early spring of 2021 we got a phone call that Lee’s bandmate and our beloved friend had died by suicide. I heard Lee on the phone and wasn’t exactly sure who he was talking to but in my gut I knew it was about Max and I knew that he was gone. It shook our world in a very big way. Lee had been playing music with Kind Country for at least a couple of years and they were making a big name for themselves. It was a group of guys that took him in and gave him a place to play pedal steel, tour all over the country and make awesome music. It was a big part of everyone’s future plans and it all seemed to fall away with the heart breaking news of losing our sweet friend.

Before Max passed, we had all made plans to go to Texas and play shows in the spring while the blue bonnets were in bloom in the hill country and while the spring temps in the Midwest left us all wanting a little warmth. I felt we were coming out of the dark times of the pandemic and the promise of spring was right around the corner. Max left us about 4 weeks before that trip was to take place and spring felt like it had iced over in my heart. I can honestly say that I have never experienced such physical grief than that of losing our friend, Max Graham. It forced Lee and I to take a look at our current life and situation as musicians and as a couple.

We made that trip to Texas in April and brought along our sweet pooch, Leroy who enjoyed his last trip to Texas that year. Almost immediately after we returned home we had to say goodbye to our boy, our muse, my best guy and our band’s namesake. Leroy had cancer and wasted away before our eyes. It was one of the hardest weeks of my life to care for him knowing the end was near and knowing I had to be the one to make the decision to end his life. I’ve never known such pain as to say goodbye to a dog. I had poured my everything into making his life the best I could and of course I also got the best of times in return. Despite the pain, I had an overwhelming sense that Leroy was giving me permission and freedom to go to Texas and cut out for a while. It was time to do the work and make the move.

It was a lot of work to get all the loose ends tied up but I knew that it was time and worth all of the effort. I didn’t know exactly what I was reaching for here in Texas, I just knew that we needed to disrupt our current life, as it had already been disrupted and we were now taking the chance we had schemed about for years.

My house became my best asset and a means to make some passive income as we live in Texas. I obtained a rental license and found a renter to live in our house for one year. It’s both nerve racking and utterly freeing to let it go to someone else for a while. I put faith and trust that it will be ok and we will learn a little something along the way. I took full advantage of my great job at Zen Eye Care and saved all my pennies and made a nice little cushion for myself. We paid off all debt outside of our home loan, sold off vehicles we no longer needed, put a few items in storage with family and we left Duluth on the best possible terms. It was bittersweet to say ‘goodbye for now’ to a city and friends we love so dearly.

As for our time so far in Texas, we’ve had the privilege to live with some friends while we get our footing here. We took a proper vacation and went to a couple festivals and camped in the hill country while enjoying the beautiful Texas fall weather. We’ve been networking and playing some really fun gigs while trying to figure out our next move. Besides making music, I had a goal for myself to finally remove alcohol from my life. It’s been a years-long process of looking at my relationship to alcohol and realizing that it does nothing to serve me and I no longer want to consume it. This subject deserves a blog post all unto itself but it’s worth mentioning as I feel that if it’s the only thing I accomplish by moving to Texas, then I have succeeded. Honestly, the big reason I wanted to move to Texas was to just take a year off, opt out for a bit, rest and recharge.

I do not have grand plans to make it big in the music scene or make big money. I do not have grand plans. Period.

I remind myself daily that I’m allowed to sit and write, read all day, sleep the day away and wake up and do it all again. I am trying to find my creativity within my rest and play and trust that the path will open up to itself.

I have daily fears of not doing enough and daily reminders that I am enough. I have been leaning heavily on my at home yoga practice and meditation. I have adopted a morning routine of daily readings and writing of my morning pages. Lee and I have signed a lease on a house in Austin with two other couples. It’s the only way to afford living in the fastest growing city on the planet! We are excited to share a space with our musical friends and have a place to collaborate and make music and foster each other's growth while we remain here until it gets too hot for my Norwegian blood.

Sonja previously wrote for us about her experience purchasing a new home. The blog provides great resources for anyone hoping to buy a home in Duluth! Read it here: A Single Gal’s Guide to Homebuying

Additionally, we are hoping Sonja will join us as a super special guest at our fall retreat at Camp Olson in Longville, MN. Thank you Sonja, as always, for sharing your heart with us. We are huge fans! You can find some of Feeding Leroy’s music here!

Sonja recently shared the poem below on her social and am sharing here with her permission. <3

This is my house of protection.

I’m not immune to critique and rejection.

I build these walls with love and intention.

This is my house of protection.

This is my earthly frame.

I live inside with my bones and my brain.

When I am gone my spirit shall remain.

This is my earthly frame.

This is my chosen family.

They wrap their love around me.

I get to chose whose love is worthy.

This is my chosen family.

This is my house of protection.

I’m not immune to critique and rejection.

I build these walls with love and intention.

This is my house of protection.

Sonja Martin

Sonja Martin is part of the musical group Feeding Leroy. She has been a part of past Boreal Bliss retreats as a musician and massage therapist. She and her husband Lee are currently living in Central Texas where they are pursuing music and spirituality. The two plan to be back in the Midwest this summer to play music and enjoy Lake Superior and all its surroundings.