Building Healthy Relationships and Group Dynamics

Written By Amanda Thoe

We’ve now hosted around 50ish retreats (we lost count) over the past eight years. We’ve welcomed thousands of women, and a handful of men, into group settings in the wilderness. We’ve learned a lot about how to create a healthy group dynamic. I have evolved and grown so much since we started this work. The teachers we work with, and the women who attend our retreats, have grown right along with us.



We recently went to Alaska with a group of 29 women. There was no gossip or drama. We simply enjoyed the present moment and the company of one another. I was so proud of the women on the trip! 



Over the past week I tried to distill some of the things I’ve learned about how to improve relationships and build a healthy group dynamic. I use these strategies on my team at work, at our retreats, with my immediate family, and with my extended family. I believe they work and eventually, they become infectious. Good behavior begets good behavior. Positivity spreads, and eventually, relationships heal and improve. 



Find ways to creatively praise others

(think outside the box! Compliments are free, don’t be stingy!)

Spread good gossip

(this is my favorite! It’s like a game of telephone that only you know you are playing!)

Assume good intentions.


Draw an imaginary line between the stories that are yours to tell, and those that are not.


Be honest and transparent, even when it’s uncomfortable.

Direct, clear feedback is usually much more effective than passive aggressive comments and hint dropping. 


Do things that light you up. Talk about those things.

If you love lichen, or whales, or economics, talk about those things! People will feed off your enthusiasm.

Avoid the question, “So, what do you do?”

People often don’t want to be defined by their day job. Instead, ask about their hobbies, their interests, what they’ve been reading or listening to lately.

Make eye contact.

Not all the time, but for at least brief moments, make eye contact. Pro tip, choose one eye to focus on, it’s easier!

Don’t jump to conclusions and beware false mind stories!

Be wary of stories created in the mind. The mind is great at coming up with false narratives. Try to identify when the mind has wandered off into fiction, assume positive intentions, and don’t jump to any conclusions until you have more factual information.

Maintain healthy boundaries.

If you think you need help setting boundaries, we highly recommend the book “Set Boundaries, Find Peace” by Nedra Tawwab. Remember that No is a complete sentence. 

Never say something about someone you wouldn’t want them to overhear.

This requires self control. There will be moments when you could share a bit of gossip, or information that others would find funny, and it will be so tempting to share that tidbit. You have to have the discernment to keep it to yourself. You have to hold yourself to a high standard. Making fun of others and speaking ill of others diminishes you- diminishes your integrity, your soul, and your character.


Never underestimate the power of your own healing.

You can’t control others. You cannot force anyone to confront their own issues. All you can do is lead by example. You will likely be surprised by the positive ripple effects of your own self-work. 

Let’s change the world, one healthy relationship at a time.

Godspeed, Amanda

Retreat with us in Minnesota this Fall!

We’ve got everything already planned for you! Show up & enjoy everything yoga + nature with Boreal Bliss Yoga Retreats:

Amanda Thoe
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