Return on Investment: A Different Perspective

Pay less attention to the way your body looks to others 

and more attention to what your body can do. 

I recently read something along the lines of, “the invention of the washing machine is incredible. You put in clothes and books come out.” I cannot find the origin of this quote, but I stumbled upon it while prepping one of my macroeconomic courses. The concept here being that the invention of household appliances like the dishwasher and washing machine allowed for those traditionally bound to household roles (women) to pursue education outside the home. 

We purchased a Roomba and this too has left me utterly astonished. The ROI on our Roomba is huge! So many hours I used to spend vacuuming is now accomplished by this little device! It’s amazing! 

So to get our grounding, what I’m thinking about this week is the return on our investments. For example, let’s take a pair of yoga pants. If I buy a $100 pair of yoga pants and am able to wear those pants 300 times before they fall into disrepair, I spent about 33 cents every time I wore those pants. If I buy a $25 pair of yoga pants and wear them 300 times before they fall into disrepair, I spent about 8 cents every time I wore them. As long as the utility I get from both pairs of pants is equal, then I should opt for the $25 yoga pants. We all make decisions like this all the time. We decide how and where we want to invest our money and time.

Before I dive deeper into this topic, I want to say- I don’t have all the answers! This blog addresses systemic issues in society that traditionally negatively impact women.

So.. what am I talking about here. Where we invest our money and time matters. We work so hard to earn the money we do have, it’s important that we spend our money in ways that add value to our lives.

As my body ages thanks to the linear progression of time, I’m observing lines and sun spots appear and more sagging and drooping with each passing year. I’m also noticing the ways I’ve internalized the beauty standards of our society. This is known as self-objectification, when someone views themselves as an object rather than a human being. To some extent, we all do this! It’s very difficult to escape the beauty standards placed on women. We can sometimes believe that who we are is who we see in the mirror or in an instagram photo. As we all know, of course WHO WE ARE has very little to do with HOW WE LOOK. It’s critical to remind ourselves of this again and again.

This is your daily reminder that who you are has very little to do with the image reflected in the mirror! 

Who you are is defined by the art you create, the way you interact with the children and the elderly in your life, the food you cook for others, the letters you send in the mail, the way your self-confidence shows up in your smile, all the things that others think of you when they think of you tenderly and lovingly. These virtues can be thought of us as legacy virtues, the things that make us unique in this vast world. 

An invitation to rethink spending in some areas, or to have a dialogue with yourself about whether or not the spending on those items is still worthwhile.

According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, on average, women working full-time, year-round, earn 87% of what men earn. We are also held to ridiculous beauty standards that require us to spend money on things like make-up and hair care products. The pink tax addresses products women need such as feminine products, and other products marketed toward women. A study from New York City on the pink tax found that women’s products are, on average, 13% more expensive than the same or similar products for men. So for example, women’s shampoo is often more expensive than a similar product for men. It’s maddening!

Here are just a few ways we spend money to live up to the beauty standards society has placed on women, or products we need based on our gender.

• Makeup

• Clothing

• Shoes, accessories, jewelry

• Eyebrow maintenance and care

• Haircuts and colors

• Skin care regime

• Anti-aging creams and remedies

• Manicure/pedicure

• Botox/fillers

• Feminine hygiene products

• Shampoo, conditioner, hair care products

We know that we spend a good deal of money to maintain our external appearance. This blog is an invitation to make sure you are giving love to both sides of the scale- the external side (listed above) and the internal well-being (listed below). Here are a few ways we spend money to invest in our own well-being and happiness: 

• Travel

• Therapy

• Medical Care

• Art supplies

• Stationery supplies

• Good books

• Spending time in nature

• Visiting a nearby green space

• Learn a new skill or take a course

• Spend time in the company of others (book club, hiking club, group exercise, sharing a meal, birding, yoga retreat, travel)

• Gym memberships or fitness classes

• Group Dance class!

• Investing in gear that makes the outdoors more accessible (snow shoes, hiking shoes, hiking poles, etc)

• Special events (like concerts)

• Spending money to sign-up for a race, triathalon, etc

• Massage

• Healthy food

• adventures/yoga retreats/travel

• Prioritizing activities that promote happiness: swimming, biking, walking outdoors, etc. 

I am not telling you to quit coloring your hair or stop investing in clothing that helps you feel confident. What I am doing is inviting you to check yourself- are you investing in designer bags and coloring your eyebrows because it helps you feel confident and joyous, or because it is an expectation the world has for you? (It’s okay if the answer is that the designer bag brings you happiness!)

We all have to strike the right balance that works well for our life.

It is worthwhile to check in with ourselves and make sure the decisions we made in the past still make sense for us today. Sometimes we are swayed by marketing that convinces us we need super fancy face lotion, when maybe a store-brand lotion would work just as well.

I’ll give you an example. I’ve been highlighting my hair since I was about 12. It all started with the classic sun-in bleach blonde look. I progressed from sun-in to my sister highlighting my hair for a decade. For the past decade I’ve paid to have my hair highlighted every 3-4 months. Just this year I’ve been thinking about this choice. Does blonde hair really make me $500 happier every year? There are many ways I could spend that money that may have longer-lasting impacts, like taking my family on a mini vacation. I’m not saying I’m going to go totally natural with dirty blonde hair… but I am saying, I am DEFINITELY considering it. I am asking myself why the blonde is important to me. I was due for a color about two months ago and haven’t gone in yet, and guess what, I’m doing just fine so far. Don’t get me wrong, I love my stylist! I love my usual hair cut routine. I am just considering that maybe in this one specific area, I could make a tweak. (Again, I don’t have all the answers. I love my blonde hair. Who am I without it? haha!)

I am simply asking you to find the right balance for your life between investing in how you appear to the world and how you move through the world. The important thing is making sure we are not over-investing in how we look and under-investing in HOW WE FEEL.

In case you haven’t noticed, it’s ah… pretty tough to be a woman in many ways. The least we can do is advocate for ourselves and be mindful of where our truest happiness lies. Because women are not valued by our society in so many ways (like a lack of paid maternity leave), we have to make sure we know our own value.

As long as investing in how we look isn’t coming at the expense of our own wellness and happiness, it is probably just fine! It’s natural and normal to spend in both areas. I think the helpful key here is to check your intentions and make sure you aren’t expecting the things that impact your external look to be the things that brings you joy.

In 2022 I learned a few things about how to wear makeup and it does bring me a lot of satisfaction, but that satisfaction doesn’t come close to the joy I feel when I’m hiking a new trail or laughing until my cheeks hurt with friends.

Remember to take a look at where your truest happiness lies, and do more of that.

Let’s age beautifully in our own authentic way- however that looks for you.

Journal Prompts

1) Create a list of ways you spend money based on your gender and your external appearance.

2) Create a list of ways you invest in your internal well-being.

3) Next to each item on the list in the top and bottom put a smiley face next to items that bring you joy!

4) Using a new color pen, pencil or marker, add any items that you are curious about that are missing from both lists. For example, have you been interested in therapy or travel but haven’t prioritized those in the past year?

5) Based on the two lists above, are there any “tiny tweaks” you can make, or areas to get curious about?