We recently led some continuing education hours on the power of meditation. One thing I notice in my personal life is that when my meditation practice is strong, my ability to identify unhelpful personal narratives is also much stronger.

Meditation has a way of helping us identify and promote positive, helpful thoughts and narratives.

SImilarly, meditation helps me label and dump out the “trash,” or the unhelpful thoughts.

I love to identify unhelpful thoughts as garbage. Allowing the dirt to fall out of my mind is a quick and powerful way I am able to let go of a thought or narrative that strikes panic into my heart!

Let me show you what I mean.

You put on your trusty swimsuit. It’s been a full 8 months since your pasty white skin last saw the sunlight. The long Minnesota winter encouraged you to lean into comfort foods and you notice a pudge here or there you don’t recall from last summer. Your bikini line is not perfectly groomed (lol). The panic sets in! The dreaded negative thoughts come barging in!

But then a magical thing happens. You stop. You label those thoughts as GARBAGE. Time to take out the trash!

You internally shift the narrative, “I look great! I feel strong and confident! If I’m having fun in my swimsuit, that’s the only thing that matters!”

Boom. You head to the beach. All anyone notices is your smile, carefree attitude, self-confidence, and the way you delight in the sunshine and freshwater. (If you pause and think of women you admire, I bet you can picture them rocking their swimsuits somewhere without a care in the world. Channel that energy!)

If you think about it, being worried about what your body looks like is just so cliche! We are complex, beautiful creatures with interesting lives! Our bodies are the most boring thing about us!

We all have personal narratives floating around in our mind. These are the stories we think define us. In some cases, these are just pesky unhelpful thoughts we’ve become comfortable with. We turn them over and over in our mind until they are as smooth as Lake Superior stones.

Unhelpful Personal Narratives

I am not good at math
I am not a numbers person
I am not athletic
I am not beautiful
My beauty is the most interesting thing about me
I have a resting bit*# face
I am a grumpy person
My best years are behind me
I hold grudges
I am not worthy of love
I am not good with money
I will be alone forever
I am awkward in social situations
I am not good at art
I am not good at dressing in ways that are stylish
I am not good with home decor
My home is ugly/too small/outdated
I am not flexible/I can’t do yoga
I don’t look good in swimsuits
I have a big butt
I am an outcast
I am the black sheep of the family
I will be alone for the rest of my life
I don’t need help from others
I don’t know how to eat healthy
I can’t run
I cannot be happy if there is a mess or untidiness in my home
I can’t leave the house without makeup

Journal Prompt: Can you think of any unhelpful narratives you identify with?

Limiting/Outdated Personal Narratives

I am a size (insert size) Our bodies change with time and that’s fine! Let go of attachment to a specific size or shape!
I am defined by job
I am defined by motherhood
I don’t have any time to do things for myself
I give and give and give and receive nothing in return
I expect gratitude when I do kind things
I am paralyzed by change
I fear the unknown
I am the busiest person I know

Journal Prompt: Do any of the narratives above resonate with you? Can you restate in a positive way? For example, “I fear the unknown” could become “I am flexible and resilient.”

Helpful Personal Narratives from Childhood

I love to paint
I love to bike
I am curious about nature
I am a dancer
I love to sing
I love collecting rocks, rocks are beautiful!
Playing in dirt/water is a blast!
It’s fun to make a mess!
I find joy in simple things
I can play without distraction for hours
I am fascinated by ________ (insert childlike wonders dinosaurs/rocks/rainbows/trucks etc)

Journal Prompt: Is there something you loved as a child or a tween that you’ve let go of? A sport or hobby you used to love? Something that used to fascinate you?

(Disclaimer: I know I bring this question up often! But I find that as adults we can be so stuffy! We stand at the waters edge, refusing to jump in. We don’t want to get wet. We don’t want to be cold. We don’t want to mess up our hair or makeup… But as a kid, we would NEVER do that! Children are so wise in this way. They do not deprive themselves of joy.)

My challenge for the week: work on identifying and labeling your thoughts. Is your stream of consciousness trending to the negative? The great thing is we can retrain our brains with practice!

Helpful Narratives!

I am a FUN person
I bring the magic!
I am capable of getting stronger/faster/more flexible/improving my balance
I am capable
I am resilient
I cam capable of change
I can go with the flow of life with ease
I have overcome many obstacles and am capable of overcoming again and again
I laugh! I make jokes! I jump at opportunities for silliness!
I don’t take myself too seriously
I am not defined by my job
I am not controlled by the thoughts, actions, or demands of others
I AM MY OWN BOSS
I am worthy of a GREAT LIFE
I am worthy of BIG LOVE

Let’s work on “taking out the trash” of our minds and promoting and elevating the positive thoughts.

Want to know more about meditation? Check out the book Meditation and Its Practice by Swami Rama.

Joy by Donna Ashworth

JOY

Joy does not arrive with a fanfare,

On a red carpet strewn with the flowers of a perfect life.

Joy sneaks in, as you pour a cup of coffee,

Watching the sun hit your favourite tree, just right.

And you usher joy away,

Because you are not ready for it.

Your house is not as it must be,

For such a distinguished guest.

But joy cares nothing for your messy home,

Or your bank-balance,

Or your waistline, you see.

Joy is supposed to slither through the cracks of your imperfect life,

That’s how joy works.

You cannot invite her, you can only be ready when she appears.

And hug her with meaning,

Because in this very moment,

Joy chose you.

The Power of Personal Narratives