In our family, we drive our cars into the ground.

There are two types of people: people who update their vehicle every few years, and those of us that drive our vehicles into the ground.

I’m realizing that this is part of a family’s culture. In the Thoe family, we take driving a vehicle into the new ground to extremes.

Let me elaborate. 

Growing up, my Grandpa and his brother liked to drive the same vehicle. Grandpa would buy a specific type of car, and Robert would buy the same make and model. 

When they were ready for a new vehicle, they would sell their vehicles to someone else in the family, like one of their children. 

Then, when their children were done with the vehicle, they would give the vehicle to their children.

And in this way, the grandchildren would wind up driving matching vehicles to school. Bonnie, and our cousin Jana (technically second cousin) drove matching maroon Caprice Classics for years. 

The 1986 Caprice Classic was my first vehicle as well. I was born in 1986, so it was a perfect car for me. By the time it made its way to me, the heat didn’t work. No worries! We folded up cardboard boxes and shoved them up by the radiator. I wore layers of scarves and hats to school. 

After the Chevrolet Caprice Classics we entered the Oldsmobile Aurora era.

My family accumulated three Oldsmobile Auroras. Two maroon and one teal. If you saw an Aurora driving on Hwy 30, or anywhere for that matter, you could be pretty sure a Thoe girl was behind the wheel.  One of these Auroras is, incredibly, still driving. After the teal Aurora met its end, my Dad brought it out to one of our cow pastures instead of the junkyard. For decades we’ve pillaged this Aurora for parts. Door doesn’t work? Go get one from the old Aurora. Engine failed? No problem, Dad drove the old engine to town on a haywagon. 

Our mechanic in Hayfield became so accustomed to the routine of replacing car parts from the old Aurora that he started driving himself the ten miles to our farm, through the field to the cow pasture (at least a quarter mile off-road and required maneuvering around electric fencing), to grab whatever he needed from the old Aurora. 

Our vehicles make it to 300K miles plus. 

When you marry into the Thoe family, you have two choices. You either embrace this ideology, or you convince your significant other to buy new vehicles. 

So far three of the four Thoe girls are married, and we have converted all three spouses to this ideology. 

My in-laws are the type of people that like to update their vehicles. They nervously give us AAA memberships for Christmas and wring their hands every time we leave the driveway for a long drive. 

A year ago we agreed it was time to upgrade. We’ve been trying to save money for a van for a year. The van still feels pretty aspirational at this point.

But lo! The benefits of driving our ancient vehicles! 

Since we don’t have bluetooth, we are still playing CDs from the giant binders we put together in the 2006-2013 era. Our children are being steeped in the music from our formative years. Oslo adores heavy metal (?????) I always thought children just like the music they are exposed to, and boy was I mistaken. I’ve never liked heavy metal for a single minute of my life. The other day Oslo requested “DragonForce.”

Our appliances don’t match. Almost all our furniture is second-hand. Our drinking glasses don’t match and our bowls are John Deere Christmas themed. The bunnies have made a mockery of my vegetable garden and the front garden is about 50 percent weeds, 50 percent perennials. The paint on our front deck is chipped and our driveway is in desperate need of repair.

At least four or five times each day I experience immense gratitude for our life. 

For a roof overhead and a warm bed at night. For a silver moon rising in the sky, for healthy trees providing shade in our yard, for friends who share their hand-me-downs with us, for living in a climate that’s not too hot and not too dry.  It’s perfectly imperfect. I’m not here to sweat the small stuff. I’m here for a big life full of big love and big awe and big laughter. 

I searched and searched for some classic photos of the Caprice Classic and the Oldsmobile Aurora. Apparently we are not the type of people who take photos of our cars (perhaps for obvious reasons). Over Labor Day weekend I spent a few hours watching old family videos with my Grandma and Grandpa. For a sweet moment the Caprice Classic came onto the screen. I squealed with delight, there it was! On this video from 1986! We rewound the video four times just to get this photo. This is my Grandma and Grandpa Thoe’s actual TV set.

The only known photo of Amanda's first vehicle: a 1986 Caprice Classic first owned by her Grandpa.

The Yamas and Niyamas are foundational to yogic thought, and are the foundation of the 8-fold path. The Yamas, a sanskrit word that translates to restraints, include ethical observances to help us live our lives. These restraints include nonviolence (ahimsa), truthfulness (satya), nonstealing (asteya), nonexcess (brahmacharya), and non-attachment (aparigraha).

When I notice myself falling into the trap of not having enough, or comparing myself to others, I try to remember the gift of aparigraha- non-attachment.

I try to remember to let go of my attachment of “what should be” or “what could be” and instead be present for the wonderfulness of what is.

I have everything I need. I am exactly where I need to be. I am grateful for my life.

Love, Amanda

Upcoming:

Still time to join us for the Wander Retreat at Deep Portage Learning Center October 11-13. Read more here.

Mark your calendar for winter retreat registration! Registration will go live September 29th at 7am. Read more here.